Do you often hear stereotypes such as "All Men Cheat"? Or "Every Woman I have Been with Cheats on Me? Or You can" Never Trust Anyone to be Faithful".
As a psychotherapist I have heard people mention each of these stereotypes. My experience, however, over the last 30 years of working with literally thousands of people has allowed me to Observe three of the most common affairs that occur in relationships. Also it seems that both men and women can cheat. It is usually the one that is in the most pain.
This article will explore the three most common types-of-affairs.
The Three Most Common Types-Of-Affairs
The First of The Most Common Types-of-Affairs,The Man/Womanizer
The most common Stereotype of affair is the Man/Womanizer. This is usually a man or woman who has difficulty moving from the high of an initial part of a relationship into the second phase of a relationship. In the second part of a relationship as each partner gets to know the other,the mystery goes away. As mystery decreases passion can wane. Some couple can get creative and find a way to spice up the relationship. Others cannot tolerate the feeling of settling into more of a couple and deal with less high's of the new relationship.
Usually these individuals have difficulty being a couple and dealing with lower levels of drama and excitement. So when the excitement begins to diminish. Either gender can stray to find the high of a new relationship.
The Second of The Most Common Types-of-Affairs, The Unmet Need
The unmet need is the most common type of affair I have seen in my practice as a psychotherapist. Usually one or both of the partners need for sexuality or companionship is greater than the other. Or both have not discuss this for so long they have gone for long periods without sex without a discussion although there can be angry outbursts and fighting but they are never able to resolve the issue.
At some point in the relationship when one or the other is at their wits end, they begin to feel vulnerable to other people outside of the relationship.
Usually they run into someone equally as vulnerable who they become attracted to and an affair ensues. Even if the affair ends, and they have not dealt with the unmet need within the marriage to get some satisfaction; it is easy for another affair to begin.
These affairs can often end in divorce. However, if each partner becomes involved with someone who is more comparable with their sexual or companionship needs they can stay faithful to the other.
The Third of The Most Common Types-of-Affairs, Filling the Unmet Need to Stay in the Relationship
This type of affair is similar to the second. It is usually based on one or both of the partners unmet sexual or companionship needs. The difference in this type of affair is that the partner has a long standing affair in-order to stay in their primary relationship.
The person who has had an affair in a relationship is often categorically thought of as the "bad one". It is important however to take a look at the dynamics in a relationship and perhaps dig deeper in to the why an affair has occurred. It is often not easy to end a long standing relationship and the affair can either be a means to an end or a means to keeping the relationship.